2011

in every year there exists one day when everything seems rather melancholic (if you don´t drink and party with your friends, which is not really an option right now). New Year´s Eve! That evening you  look back at the past 365 days and experience those unthankful feelings. Regret, for a decision, or also joy you made it. You might feel this itching in your heart that you didn´t get every moment out of it or that you wasted your time. You might be sad the year is over or look forward to the next year with hope for something better. Everyone feels like that in their own way. We have those ridiculous ambitions for the next year, we will never ever fulfill! That´s the average thing. 2011 those feelings seem to be stronger than ever, the only difference is, that I´m not certain if I feel any of it or not. I question myself to much: Was is it right? Do I regret it or was it worth the precious time? Now I´m here in the dreamland America, and don´t even really celebrate the new year. Maybe that´s a good thing for me, but those feeling will hunt me down anyway.
When the clock strikes 12, one has to make a decision and be certain about the feelings you experienced. I´ll wait 'til this moment, however, I´m pretty sure I won´t know this year. 2011 has been different, and will also be in this moment. Maybe I´ll find my answers in 2012. And if not... I at least know that I tried. Have a happy new year y'all. :)

Only in America (picture-update)

Just saying: some stores here are crazy , over the top. This hunting store we went to today was firstly, huge, secondly, looked like a museum with all the old west stuff and looking like a huge dream hall. There was a big waterfall with an aquarium inside the store. No, it was not a zoo. Only a store where u can buy stuff for hunting and fishing. It looked like the nature itself. Btw had also shooting games everywhere...Only in America!
Also some updates from Christmas Eve and some from a photoshoot with Amber and some girls.

 Amber in a christmas costume and I on her horse

 Matthew cant get out of the little cute kid car :D

 The huge hunting store...

 ...and the weird foreigner who behaves like a tourist and has to take a picture in front of the store.

Merry Christmas (EVE)

Today is Christmas Eve and we are going to visit Amber´s stepmom and eat at her house. Going over to Cheryl´s parent´s house as well. I wish all of you in Germany and wherever you are a Merry Christmas! I miss you and this day is gonna be a sad and a great day at the same time :)

Sickness

I was sick for the first time in the USA the last past days. Had a fever, cough, sore throat and stuffy nose. Wasn´t a nice thing but I got through it. Really felt lonely those days, since I was alone in my room all the time. My mom is back in Vancouver with my aunt and my uncle and I´d like to join her so badly. I miss them all. I wish I could just take a break for a few days and visit them. :(.
At least I´ll get outta the house today and do some christmas shopping. Not much but something.

Christmas Break!!!

Christmas Break just started and the only things I am going to do are: sleeping, watching TV and loving my little baby hostsister Ellianna :) Went to the Cinema with a friend and 2 guys yesterday. Was fun but kinda akward...let´s see what happens :D

Christmas Time

Christmas is not far away anymore and during thi s time homesickness sneaks around the corner as well. But I hope it won´t bother me too long. Christmas tree is already in our living room and I will go ice-skating with Amber and some of her friends in a few minutes, even though I have the strong impression that she just takes me because her mom tells her to, which makes me kinda sad. Amber hasnt really got to appreciate me as I am yet. I guess that wont happen any more. The more I here about Sabrina, the exchange student, who had been here before I got here, the more I have the feeling she had a much better time. She was allowed to do more and she was awesome with Amber. I´m so sad we can´t really be friends. Her attitude towards changes from day to day and it confuses me over and over again. If she would be open and talk to me I would never refuse to be friends with me. I want her to but obviously she doesnt....too bad. I thought it would be different.
Especially the Christmas time I miss Germany. All the gingerbread, the chocolate, the lights in Hamburg and the big Christmas market. I wish I could be in Hamburg and go ice skating with some friends of mine instead. I at least would know I´m welcome.
Yesteday I got my first dress code referal. It was ridiculous, my pullover slipt of my shoulder like once a little bit and nobody noticed. And it wasn´t offendive at all. But somebody (i dont know who) went to the pricipal and made him notice I violated the dress code. hmpf, this student has to be really frustrated to deal with MY issues. Anyway, my hostfamily wasnt mad so it was no big deal. I love them. But this christian school sometimes just cracks me up! :D

FIZZY!!!!!

Finally Fizzy (the nickname for the baby amber invented) came into our world. She is an adoreable baby and Cheryl is well considering the circumstances of the surgery. She doesn´t have a name yet but there are three "thoughts" Cheryl choose: Isabella, Gulianna and Ellianna. Since Isabella is a nice name but it reminds me in Twilight to much I´m for the name Gulianna (spoken like Juli - Anna ). :) Can´t wait to see the baby girl tomorrow again :)

Nana!!

Just picked up Gaspares italian mother (she lives in the USA) from the KC airport. She's so italian and has a cute accent. Hope I will get along with her well :)... Baby will come in 1 and a half week and I can't even imagine it coming, this is soooooo weird for meN since I have never been in such a situation. WEIRD!!!
My cracked IPod will be substituted by a completely new one! Myy aunt and uncle from Vancouver will send me one, the new version!!! Isn't that gracious? :) so I'm ecpecting 3 packages. 2 from my mom(books and advent calenders+candies!) And the ipod. Yay!

More photos from St. Louis

Just had a bad morning of homesickness. To cheer me up: Some different photos from St. Louis, what a nice trip.

 St. Louis Art Museum

 All the Exchange Students who came

 Bettina

 Bettina and me kissing the stature :D

This old wardrobe is orginally from HAMBURG!

 Julia, Bettina and me at the stairs surrounded by mirrors and mirrors.

St. Louis

Just got back from the trip to St. Louis. It was a very nice experience. The first day we arrived and it rained a lot'first we went through the interesting Science center and went shopping at the Chesterfield mall  :P . Back in the hotel we played games with all the exhange students who came to st. louis. I was in a room with julia and bettina and it was fun. The enxt daz we saw the famous arch and went up there. It was incredible. The city museum was awesome. It is kinda like a huge play ground for kids. except u dont have to be a kid. felt like a three year old again. had sooo much fun! today we checked out of the hotel and went to the art museum which was really great as well.

Kansas City Zoo

Yesterday we all, Amber, Katie(friend of me and Amber), Cheryl, Matthew, Andrew and I went to the Kansas City Zoo. It was a fun experience even though we didn´t have enough time to see all the parts of the zoo. I loved the cute polar bear who played behind the glass. Here are a few pictures :)

Auditon

Yesterday we found out who got the roles for the play. I didn´t get anything I wanted..Instead of playing a big character my drama teacher splited me up in 3 smaller roles... and has to destroy one character I have in order to have time for the make up. I play Tibia but not Tibia because now shes not a ghost anymore. Anyway, I´ll make the best of it. There are no bad roles only bad actors! Let´s go Wizard of Oz.

FLORIDA, YEAH BABY. :D

Yesterday Amber asked me for my agenda. I gave it to her and when I got it back she showed me two dates one in januray and one in february. At January 26 she wrote: Soo.. Me+You are going to Florida :D . And I was like that the heck? What´s going on? At february 1 she wrote: We get bacl from Florida. And then i knew she was serious. We are going to Florida in Winter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her grandparents (from her dad who passed away) live in Florida with a pool in the bag yard and so in. :) And Crystal and Amber go every year and Amber decided to take me with her! OMG She didn´t even take their last exchange student. I´m so surprised of her :) I´m so excited and happy. We will go to Florida. Her stepmom Crystal seems to have a lot of money, because Amber told me if I try to pay the flight she probably won´t let me. She never lets anyone pay. I can´t believe it. So I´m probably going to Florida for free. Mum has to come back from Spain now, so I can tell her and she can talk to EF. I´m gonna be gone for a whole week and miss school! Awesome right?

Audition

Today the Audition for The Wizard of Oz takes place. I´m pretty nervous but I won´t give up, I really would like to be the good witch. But the language is a great barrier in this case, even though my English is good like a lot of people say. I wish I had the support from my mom this morning, she would believe in me. A lot of people take your hope by saying exchange students never get big roles in a play, Cheryl says the same.... It kinda makes me said I wish people would encourage more. Anyway, I´ll still try, nobody can blame me for that. 
The weekend was quite okay. I played a game with my brothers, had fun at corn maze with all the other exchange students and practiced for the audition a little. ;)
playing The LIFE with Matthew :)

 Benefit Auction at my school

 Corn Maze