2011

in every year there exists one day when everything seems rather melancholic (if you don´t drink and party with your friends, which is not really an option right now). New Year´s Eve! That evening you  look back at the past 365 days and experience those unthankful feelings. Regret, for a decision, or also joy you made it. You might feel this itching in your heart that you didn´t get every moment out of it or that you wasted your time. You might be sad the year is over or look forward to the next year with hope for something better. Everyone feels like that in their own way. We have those ridiculous ambitions for the next year, we will never ever fulfill! That´s the average thing. 2011 those feelings seem to be stronger than ever, the only difference is, that I´m not certain if I feel any of it or not. I question myself to much: Was is it right? Do I regret it or was it worth the precious time? Now I´m here in the dreamland America, and don´t even really celebrate the new year. Maybe that´s a good thing for me, but those feeling will hunt me down anyway.
When the clock strikes 12, one has to make a decision and be certain about the feelings you experienced. I´ll wait 'til this moment, however, I´m pretty sure I won´t know this year. 2011 has been different, and will also be in this moment. Maybe I´ll find my answers in 2012. And if not... I at least know that I tried. Have a happy new year y'all. :)

Only in America (picture-update)

Just saying: some stores here are crazy , over the top. This hunting store we went to today was firstly, huge, secondly, looked like a museum with all the old west stuff and looking like a huge dream hall. There was a big waterfall with an aquarium inside the store. No, it was not a zoo. Only a store where u can buy stuff for hunting and fishing. It looked like the nature itself. Btw had also shooting games everywhere...Only in America!
Also some updates from Christmas Eve and some from a photoshoot with Amber and some girls.

 Amber in a christmas costume and I on her horse

 Matthew cant get out of the little cute kid car :D

 The huge hunting store...

 ...and the weird foreigner who behaves like a tourist and has to take a picture in front of the store.

Merry Christmas (EVE)

Today is Christmas Eve and we are going to visit Amber´s stepmom and eat at her house. Going over to Cheryl´s parent´s house as well. I wish all of you in Germany and wherever you are a Merry Christmas! I miss you and this day is gonna be a sad and a great day at the same time :)

Sickness

I was sick for the first time in the USA the last past days. Had a fever, cough, sore throat and stuffy nose. Wasn´t a nice thing but I got through it. Really felt lonely those days, since I was alone in my room all the time. My mom is back in Vancouver with my aunt and my uncle and I´d like to join her so badly. I miss them all. I wish I could just take a break for a few days and visit them. :(.
At least I´ll get outta the house today and do some christmas shopping. Not much but something.

Christmas Break!!!

Christmas Break just started and the only things I am going to do are: sleeping, watching TV and loving my little baby hostsister Ellianna :) Went to the Cinema with a friend and 2 guys yesterday. Was fun but kinda akward...let´s see what happens :D

Christmas Time

Christmas is not far away anymore and during thi s time homesickness sneaks around the corner as well. But I hope it won´t bother me too long. Christmas tree is already in our living room and I will go ice-skating with Amber and some of her friends in a few minutes, even though I have the strong impression that she just takes me because her mom tells her to, which makes me kinda sad. Amber hasnt really got to appreciate me as I am yet. I guess that wont happen any more. The more I here about Sabrina, the exchange student, who had been here before I got here, the more I have the feeling she had a much better time. She was allowed to do more and she was awesome with Amber. I´m so sad we can´t really be friends. Her attitude towards changes from day to day and it confuses me over and over again. If she would be open and talk to me I would never refuse to be friends with me. I want her to but obviously she doesnt....too bad. I thought it would be different.
Especially the Christmas time I miss Germany. All the gingerbread, the chocolate, the lights in Hamburg and the big Christmas market. I wish I could be in Hamburg and go ice skating with some friends of mine instead. I at least would know I´m welcome.
Yesteday I got my first dress code referal. It was ridiculous, my pullover slipt of my shoulder like once a little bit and nobody noticed. And it wasn´t offendive at all. But somebody (i dont know who) went to the pricipal and made him notice I violated the dress code. hmpf, this student has to be really frustrated to deal with MY issues. Anyway, my hostfamily wasnt mad so it was no big deal. I love them. But this christian school sometimes just cracks me up! :D